The Gifts Life Gives

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about all the gifts I've been given over the past few years and I'm not talking about the material things I've received, but gifts that have had a lasting impact on my life. Not all of the gifts have been good, at least not on the surface; getting MS, having to quit a job I loved because the new boss was driving me nuts and the work was draining me dry... But hidden in the negatives were some of the most important gifts.

Finding out that I had MS was probably the biggest gift the universe could have given me. It taught me not to take so much for granted, that my energy was better spent on things that mattered rather than going through the motions of a life. Without MS, I wouldn't have left the job I'd secretly hated. I wouldn't have discovered the school I worked at, or met some of the most amazing people who helped me realize that the only limitations in life are the ones you set yourself.

Yesterday I learned that Crazy Boss is no longer with the program, and part of me started thinking that maybe I'd want to go back. However, the other reasons I had for leaving... high stress, little energy at the end of the day for myself let alone my family... still applied. And thinking further, I've moved on to a different stage in my life, my time at that school really is finished.

So where do I go from here?

A very good friend of mine believes that I am a powerful manifester. When I want something bad enough, I can focus my energies until I achieve what I'm after. 

I want to be a writer... okay so technically since I'm sitting here writing right now I am a writer, but I want to be a published writer. I want my words to be read by and impact others. I want to contribute something to the world that will be around after I am gone. I want to be able to travel the world and experience what it has to offer then use those experiences in my writing. 

One of the things I wanted to do when I quit my job is to focus more on my writing. Unfortunately saying I want to focus on my writing and the reality of being a full time writer are two entirely different entities and I'm wondering what the universe has out there waiting for me. I want to be a writer, and I believe I can manifest myself as a writer, but its the journey thats going to be the most important part of that process and not so much the final destination.

I am ready for the next gift that life has waiting for me, good or bad. I know that what ever it is, it will take me to where I need to be. In the meantime, it's important to see where I've come from and the things I've experienced as the gifts they turned out to be.  

Last Half of my season.

This weekend I'm flying to Dublin Ireland for the Dublin Rock 'n Roll Half-Marathon. I'm really excited to be heading to Dublin. I will confess that my training hasn't been all that great or consistant, getting leg cramps every time I run hasn't been conducive to maintaining motivation but I'm still going to give it my all.

This event is the last event I've signed up for this year. I'm tempted to sign up for at least one more triathlon, but not having any income at the moment, I can't justify the expense. Maybe a break from events will be a good thing, I can focus on just trying to get back into some better shape. 

I still want to do Ironman. I'm hoping that getting in contact with the Rocky Mountain MS Center I can maybe work with people who could help me achieve that goal. I would like to generate some interest and support around my book maybe find some way to subsidize my training.

Full time writing, not as easy as one thinks

So this whole quitting my job to be a writer is a lot harder than I expected. One would think that having all sorts of free time to write would be conducive to you know, writing. 

It turns out that its not so easy. I can't count all the times I've sat in front of a blinking cursor waiting for inspiration to strike only to be mocked by a blank screen. And the novel I was hoping to crank out this month... Yeah well, that's a whole other issue.

On Friday I leave for Ireland to run in the Dublin Rock 'n Roll Half Marathon. I'm hoping that the travel will help inspire me. Maybe I can pen a short story or essay or something, or maybe a review or two of some of the places we go, either way I'm hoping to find some direction or focus because right now I'm feeling pretty directionless.