Changing mindsets: Walking is not weakness

This morning I woke up feeling tired and fatigued dispite having gone to bed at a reasonable time and sleeping through the night. I was so tempted to blow off my cardio for today, but in the end I decided to walk for 30 minutes instead of running as I had originally planned.

I don't know why, but it is so hard for me to walk. Its not a physical limitation but a mental one, because after three years of getting myself inshape I can't help but see walking as a sign of weakness, like I'm not good enough. It's stupid, and rationally, intellectually, I know that walking is just as good as running but it doesn't stop me from going into this internal dialogue that keeps telling me that I should be running and I'm just a whimp.

I could have run this morning, and it would have been a miserable experience and it probably would make my workout tomorrow even harder. Walking meant that I still got my workout in, but I finished feeling good instead of miserable. Walking isn't weakness.  When I was working with our Boy Scout troop this spring getting ready for BolderBoulder, I would always tell them that even if they just walked during our training run, they were still spending 30 to 40 minutes outside doing something active. That was time not being spent sitting around watching TV or playing video games, they were doing something more than your average teen and preteen, especially early on a Saturday morning.

So, why is it I can't take my own advice? Why do I see taking it easy yet still working out as a sign of weakness? I could have done nothing and spent 30 minutes watching TV or writing or just gone back to bed after the kids left for school. 

During the half marathon, I walked quite a bit, I had to... I didn't train well. But each and everytime I walked, I had to rationalize it to myself to make it okay like I was doing something wrong. Somehow I need to change my thinking around taking it slow, just because I'm slower doesn't mean I'm not working hard, and the only way I'm going to get any better is if I stop mentally beating myself up when I fall short of my expectations.

Walking is not weakness, at least I did something instead of giving up and going back to bed.

Dublin Rock 'n Roll Half-Marathon

Its been a couple of weeks, but I'm finally posting an update on the Dublin Half-Marathon.

The race went rather well, especially for someone who didn't really train like they should have for a distance run. I never expected to finish really fast or qualify for any kind of recognition or reward, really it was an excuse to go to Ireland.

It took me a little over 3 hours to complete the course, and maybe it was the lower elevation, cooler climate, cloudy weather, I don't know but I did not have the leg and foot issues I'd been battling every every other run. So that alone made the race very pleasant and getting to sightsee around Dublin as I ran was just a bonus. The course took us through Phoenix Park, which is over 3x's the size of Central Park, and I have to say that after getting past the monster hill at the entrance, it was my favorite part of the course. It was so pretty. There were lots of people who were stopping to snap photographs but I did not... alas. Too busy maintaining momentum.

One thing I do have to say is that I'm kind of tired of just finishing races. I've been there, done that, I think I've more than proven that I can run, or cycle, or swim, or do all three in one event. I used to not care if I was the last person to cross the finish line, but I'm kind of tired of having all the good stuff already gone at the aid stations or they're starting to tear down. I want to be better, maybe not the fastest but at least solidly in the middle.

Anyway... Dublin was awesome! After the race, we went to a pub near our hotel for a pint. There is something to be said about Guinness, it's a great post race recovery beverage. When you're in Ireland, it's a pretty good pre race beverage too, perhaps thats why I had fewer muscle issues. 

In addition to the race, we did a lot of sightseeing, though walking around Dublin post race was a little trickier. We went to my favorite place in the while wide world, The Guinness Store House. If this whole writing thing doesn't pan out, I can get a job a serving Guinness as I learned just how to pour the perfect pint.

I don't have any other events on the horizon and I'm thinking I'm going to keep it that way, at least for the rest of this year. I think I've done too many different things that I haven't really improved at all on any one. 

I burned out this year. Two years working my tail off training plus a really stressful job has totally knocked me on my ass. Now it feels like I'm back at square one almost. I think that toning down the events and getting back to some basics, exercising regularly for instance, is going to be beneficial in the long run.

Last Half of my season.

This weekend I'm flying to Dublin Ireland for the Dublin Rock 'n Roll Half-Marathon. I'm really excited to be heading to Dublin. I will confess that my training hasn't been all that great or consistant, getting leg cramps every time I run hasn't been conducive to maintaining motivation but I'm still going to give it my all.

This event is the last event I've signed up for this year. I'm tempted to sign up for at least one more triathlon, but not having any income at the moment, I can't justify the expense. Maybe a break from events will be a good thing, I can focus on just trying to get back into some better shape. 

I still want to do Ironman. I'm hoping that getting in contact with the Rocky Mountain MS Center I can maybe work with people who could help me achieve that goal. I would like to generate some interest and support around my book maybe find some way to subsidize my training.