I don't know why, but it is so hard for me to walk. Its not a physical limitation but a mental one, because after three years of getting myself inshape I can't help but see walking as a sign of weakness, like I'm not good enough. It's stupid, and rationally, intellectually, I know that walking is just as good as running but it doesn't stop me from going into this internal dialogue that keeps telling me that I should be running and I'm just a whimp.
I could have run this morning, and it would have been a miserable experience and it probably would make my workout tomorrow even harder. Walking meant that I still got my workout in, but I finished feeling good instead of miserable. Walking isn't weakness. When I was working with our Boy Scout troop this spring getting ready for BolderBoulder, I would always tell them that even if they just walked during our training run, they were still spending 30 to 40 minutes outside doing something active. That was time not being spent sitting around watching TV or playing video games, they were doing something more than your average teen and preteen, especially early on a Saturday morning.
So, why is it I can't take my own advice? Why do I see taking it easy yet still working out as a sign of weakness? I could have done nothing and spent 30 minutes watching TV or writing or just gone back to bed after the kids left for school.
During the half marathon, I walked quite a bit, I had to... I didn't train well. But each and everytime I walked, I had to rationalize it to myself to make it okay like I was doing something wrong. Somehow I need to change my thinking around taking it slow, just because I'm slower doesn't mean I'm not working hard, and the only way I'm going to get any better is if I stop mentally beating myself up when I fall short of my expectations.
Walking is not weakness, at least I did something instead of giving up and going back to bed.
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