I am a firm believer that things happen to you for a reason. It doesn’t matter if they’re good things or bad, they happen and, if your willing, they can teach you things about your life and the direction it’s heading.
There is no medical explanation for why I have MS. There was no sense in how it came on, or why last summer was the time for my nervous system to start having issues, but it all happened. That has got to be the most frustrating part of MS, not understanding why it happens. There haven’t been genetic markers discovered that make it more likely someone will have MS, there wasn’t a virus or disease that occurred, it wasn’t even something I did or didn’t do in my life. Just, one day I was fine and all was good then, BOOM, things aren’t fine and I have MS.
Dwelling on trying to figure out why exactly this happened is enough to drive a person throughly insane, and it really isn’t healthy. It happened, it sucks, but it is what it is; time to move on. However, the realities of life with MS aren’t as easily shrugged away, especially if you have to make major changes to your career and lifestyle to accommodate what is happening. So, I’m trying to see things from the perspective that there is some greater life lesson to be learned.
For starters, I worked myself into this massive relapse. But, if I hadn’t ended up in the hospital, chances are good that I would still be working at the same place that was slowly making things worse. After I was forced to leave that situation, I had a choice; I could either lay around the house feeling sorry for myself, or I could use the time to figure out what I really want in life.
I’m choosing life.
One thing I’ve learned from this experience is that, while MS came make life difficult and hard to predict, there is still a lot to my life that I do have control over. Where things start to wrong is when I allow myself to get beaten down from so many different directions. The best thing I can do for myself is focus on things that would benefit my life and my family and let the MS make sure that I have my fair share of lumps and obstacles. Why go looking for trouble when it’s just going to find my anyway?
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