So, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is time for me to stop feeling sorry for myself and actually try and deal with the MS instead of letting it take over. For the past eight months, my life has been on hiatus. I’ve not done much, or wanted to do much, I’ve been holding myself back.
Lately, I’ve started to become fed up with myself. I’ve been sitting around waiting for something to change, waiting for the MS to settle down, but I’m starting to realize that I could potentially be waiting forever. Change doesn’t happen when you sit around and do nothing. The MS may go into remission or it may not, but sitting around waiting to see if it does doesn’t help anything. All I’m doing is wasting time, and if it isn’t going to go into remission what am I going to do, sit around and be miserable forever? The best thing I can do for myself it to make my body as strong as possible so it can last for as long as possible when/if the MS continues to progress.
So, I’m staging a comeback.
I’m not going to just sit around anymore feeling every ache and pain, wishing that it would just go away. I’m not going to stare forlornly at the array of prescription bottles, lamenting over the number of pills I have to take in a day... week... month. I’m going to have to get used to the lack of feeling in the fingers of my left hand; silver lining, I now have a barometer of how bad the MS gets. I may be verbally impaired but at least I’ll be amusing when I tell someone to wash their dishes in the microwave, or spew obscenities in order to jiggle out a word I lost. That’s just going to be apart of me, and people are just going to have to deal. It's time to start living again.
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